


I'm Not Gay

by Jaela



Category: Scott Pilgrim - Fandom, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Genre: M/M, pet crackship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-03
Updated: 2011-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-18 22:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaela/pseuds/Jaela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil Nordegraf is definitely not gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Gay

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, yes, this is a weird crack pairing that makes little to no sense. But it's one that wormed its way into my head and will not leave, and as such is quickly becoming my Scott Pilgrim OTP. Despite the crack-ish-ness of it all. I apologise. Only not really. I'm not actually sorry for this at all.

“I’m not gay,” Neil says as curious eyes blink at him from behind round lenses.  
“Never said you were,” Jimmy says. “I just said you were cute.”

“I’m not gay,” Neil repeats when Jimmy takes the cellphone out of Neil’s pocket and programs his number in.  
Jimmy smiles innocently. “You don’t have to be gay to call me.”

“I’m not gay,” Neil whispers so quietly he’s hardly more than mouthing it— and then glances around as if terrified someone else in the Second Cup may have heard that word come out of his mouth.  
“That’s a weird thing to say in the middle of a date,” Jimmy says.  
Neil’s face shifts dramatically in a split second. His cheeks and ears flush bright red, his eyes go even wider than usual, and his brow furrows in his own blend of embarrassment and anger. “This isn’t a—” quick, paranoid glances around at the other patrons. “I-it’s not, is it? Is this a…?”  
Jimmy slowly shakes his head and hides a laugh behind a sip of his latte. “No, I was just kidding.”

“I’m not gay,” Neil reminds Jimmy, hands clenching tightly around the game controller.  
“I know. I’m just saying, Yun-Seong would be hot if he were a real dude.” He smiles sideways at Neil. “I’m not asking you to agree or anything.”  
Neil thinks Yun-seong wouldn’t have anything on Kilik, but he won’t say so. And he definitely won’t ever admit to the strange dream he has about those particular Soul Calibur men that night.

“I’m not gay.” Neil jumps as he feels the weight of Jimmy’s arm slung over his shoulders.  
“I am,” Jimmy says. “And you know what else I am?” He makes a sound halfway between a hiccup and a giggle.  
“What,” Neil deadpans.  
“Drunk,” Jimmy declares. “Really, really drunk.” And he slumps against Neil heavily, almost causing both of them to topple off of their stools.  
Neil looks from Stephen Stills to Scott to Kim for help, but all are conveniently distracted or avoiding his gaze. Neil is on his own.  
So it’s Neil who has to guide Jimmy to the bathroom after complaints of feeling sick. And Neil who has to insist that he be extra, extra sure when Jimmy says it was a false alarm.  
And Neil who gets pinned against the bathroom wall and kissed full on the mouth. Jimmy is thick with the tang of alcohol, but otherwise it’s not altogether horrible.

“I’m not gay” is the answer a mortified Jimmy receives the next morning when he apologetically thanks Neil for taking care of him.  
“Yeah,” Jimmy mumbles. “I’m sorry.”  
And he makes Neil pancakes. Which is a pretty nice gesture. They’re good, too.

“I’m not gay.”  
Jimmy shrugs and half-shouts, “Suit yourself!” as he turns back to rejoin the crowd, but Neil grabs his hand.  
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t dance with you,” he clarifies. “I was just… saying.”  
Jimmy smiles and leads Neil out, and Neil is totally not used to clubs or to dancing at all really, but it’s kind of okay and actually maybe fun.  
And if Jimmy gets progressively handsy throughout the night, well… he’s not doing anything a bunch of other people around them aren’t doing. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Right?

“I’m not gay,” Neil is quick to tell Jimmy’s brother when he asks if this is Jimmy’s new boyfriend.  
“Relax, I was just kidding,” he says.  
Jimmy looks like he wants to melt into the floor and disappear off the face of the earth.  
Neil has never been quite so curious to know exactly what someone is thinking.

“I’m not gay,” Neil says, but it’s half-hearted and both of them know he’s not actually going to do anything about the fact that Jimmy is stretched out on Neil’s bed and has his head in Neil’s lap.  
“But I’m tiiiiiired,” Jimmy whines. And sure enough, Neil doesn’t make him move. He just finishes up the campaign he’s on and then blearily rubs his eyes and shuts off the Wii— he’s a little tired, too, actually.  
Too tired, in fact, to get his mind to work through to any practical scenario besides just sitting here staring at a blank screen and absent-mindedly stroking Jimmy’s hair. The latter bit, he stops doing as soon as he notices it. And hopes that Jimmy is asleep enough to not be aware that that happened at all.

“I’m not gay,” Neil says, jumping out of bed hastily the next morning and looking at anything but Jimmy. Neither of them are sure how it happened, but Neil woke up with his head cradled against Jimmy’s collarbone, and probably it’s because they realised at some point during the night that they’d have to find a more comfortable position, but drowsiness has a way of erasing logistical details.  
Obviously, Neil wouldn’t normally end up in a position like that.  
No matter that he does again not even a week later, after another long night of gaming.

“I’m not gay,” Neil breathes, but Jimmy just nuzzles against his neck anyway, because neither of them is quite so tired this time when Neil turns off a game that he’s already forgotten the name of.  
“Doesn’t matter,” Jimmy says in his ear. And something shoots through Neil’s veins that’s both hot and cold at the same time, and his throat goes so tight he couldn’t protest anymore even if he wanted to.  
Which, for the record, he doesn’t. Not especially. Because Jimmy’s lips meet his own, and there’s no alcohol smell this time, and as gay as Neil is definitely _not,_ it’s kind of awesome.  
And what is college for, if not experimenting? So what the hell.

“I’m not gay,” Neil says, listening to Jimmy’s heartbeat as he blinks at the morning light streaming in through the blinds. He doesn’t jump out of bed this time, though. Here is fine. For now, he’ll stay here.  
“Okay,” Jimmy laughs.  
Neil thinks he detects a hint of sarcasm, and he isn’t sure he likes that. “I’m serious.”  
“Well,” Jimmy says, “You’re not exactly straight, either, are you?”  
Neil’s ears burn. “…Maybe.”  
 _Well,_ Jimmy thinks, _It’s a start._


End file.
